


Playing Games

by ferryberry



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, Friendship, POV Third Person Omniscient, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-19
Updated: 2010-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4395350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferryberry/pseuds/ferryberry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post S1. Puck is bored. When the group starts playing games to shut him up, it leads to some interesting developments, which could have serious consequences for Finn, Rachel, and Quinn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Much Do You Know About...

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. All belongs to Glee writers and creators.

"I'm bored."

Quinn sighed. "I think we're all well aware of that by now, Puck."

"We could…play a board game," Kurt suggested cautiously.

"Dude, we've already watched you and Rachel play chess twice, _and_ we've had to watch the Single Ladies routine like three times just since _I_ got here," Puck grumped. "No more suggestions from you."

"He's just mad because I won the last round," Rachel said happily.

Finn smiled and rubbed her shoulders.

"Only because you cheated," Kurt muttered.

"Taking good advice from Artie does not count as cheating," she retorted.

"Whatever. I'm _bored_."

"And I'm bored of you saying that," Santana snipped. "Someone _please_ come up with something to do so he stops whining."

Rachel thought on it. "We could play How Much Do You Know About," she offered.

"What is that?" Mercedes asked, exchanging a confused glance with Kurt.

"It's a game where the person in question writes down trivia questions—usually ten or less—about themselves and then reads them out. Someone else keeps track of the score, although they may still answer questions, and whoever answers the most questions correctly wins."

"I'm game," Puck said, stretching. "Is there a strip version?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "No. Who wants to go first?"

"It's your game," Kurt pointed out.

"It's not _my_ game, it's just a—"

"I'll go," Matt offered, in the interests of shutting her up.

She beamed. "Great. I'll get pens and a notebook."

#

"Okay, Rachel, you keep score," Matt instructed, clearing his throat. "Here we go. What is my favorite color?"

"Green," Mike said.

"Correct. What is my favorite food?"

"Cake." Mike again.

"Correct."

"Not even a specific kind of cake? Just…cake?" Artie asked, brow furrowing.

"It's _tasty_. Anyway, what is my favorite holiday?"

Mike frowned and Santana said, "Valentine's Day." Everyone chuckled, so she added, "No, seriously. From the first grade to, like, sixth, he always left 'secret' cards in everyone's lockers. Thank God he realized how uncool that is."

Matt was turning red.

"Oh, so _you_ were my secret admirer!" Tina exclaimed, smiling. "I remember only getting one card every year, until the seventh grade. I thought it was really sweet."

"Anyway! What is my dream vacation spot?"

"Was that correct?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, woman, just write it down and move on!" he exclaimed, glaring at Santana.

"Hey, you didn't have to write it as one of the questions," she said, shrugging.

"I was hoping someone would guess something cool. Like Halloween," he replied irritably. "Is someone going to answer?"

"Oh, Orlando, Florida!" Mercedes blurted.

"Correct."

She smiled, pleased, and Mike asked, "How did you know that?"

"We played a game of Anywhere But Here once, and that was his. Along with Megan Fox in a bathing suit."

"Dude, sweet," Puck commented.

"What is my favorite song?"

"Hate On Me, by Jill Scott," Mercedes said, high-fiving him.

"What's my favorite TV show?"

"24," Mike said quickly, rushing to beat Mercedes.

"Right. What's my favorite movie?"

"Die Hard!" Mike exclaimed.

Matt grinned. "You know it, dude. Okay, who is my favorite superhero?"

"Spiderman!" Mike and Puck said at nearly the same time.

Matt glanced at Rachel. "Think Mike got that. If I were a superhero, what would be my powers of choice?"

"Superspeed, superstrength, and X-ray vision!" Mike said rapidly, shooting a triumphant look at Puck and Mercedes.

"Yeah, baby," Puck said, grinning. Most likely at the X-ray vision part, but everyone decided not to overanalyze it.

"Okay, and lastly, why don't I like Swiss cheese?" He smirked.

"It's not supposed to have holes in it," Kurt said flatly.

Matt scowled. "How did you know that?"

"You went on for an _hour_ about it at Sectionals. I will never forget that cheese isn't cheese unless it doesn't have holes," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"Dude, they're just holes," Finn commented.

"It's weird!"

"Who won?" Mike asked eagerly.

"Hang on, I'm still tallying," Rachel said dismissively. "Okay, I think I can say with certainty that Mike is the winner of this round, with six questions right."

He grinned. "What do I win?"

She frowned. "I don't know. There's some cookies in the kitchen, if you—"

He leapt up and dashed out of the room. She sighed.

"Who's up next?" Rachel asked, looking around.

"I think the person who just went should get to pick," Matt suggested.

"Good idea. Go ahead."

He grinned. "Santana."

"What? Ugh, fine."

#

"Rachel, you can keep keeping score." Santana sighed. "Is everyone ready?"

Brittany straightened, bobbing her head, and there were general sounds of assent around the room. Mike was back with his cookies, which he kept out of Matt's reach.

"What is my favorite color?"

"Cream," Brittany said immediately.

"Question thief," Matt muttered.

"'Favorite' questions are fair game, right, Rachel?"

"Yes."

"Okay. What is my favorite food?"

"Lasagna." Brittany again.

"You're not giving anyone else a chance, Britt," Mercedes teased.

Brittany smiled proudly.

"What is _my_ favorite holiday?"

"Halloween." Brittany. Again.

"What's my favorite song?"

"Rockstar, by Prima J." Brittany.

Santana smiled. "What's my favorite TV show?"

"Grey's Anatomy," she said eagerly. "We watch it together."

"What's my favorite movie?"

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End," Quinn said absently. Brittany immediately began pouting, and Quinn patted her comfortingly. "I only know because it hasn't changed since the seventh grade."

Brittany nodded grudgingly, and Santana turned to the notebook again.

"Why don't I like dogs?"

"They drool too much." Brittany grinned triumphantly.

"You don't like dogs?" Tina asked, sounding hurt.

"What is wrong with you?" Mike added.

"It's my round; shut up. How old was I when I first had sex?"

"Fifteen," Quinn said. Brittany frowned at her and Quinn explained, "She came to my house crying after it happened."

"I wasn't crying," Santana snapped. "Anyway. What is my favorite sexy outfit on guys?"

"Cowboy," Puck said, grinning.

"I knew I didn't want to know what you guys were doing in that storage closet after Last Name," Finn said, shaking his head.

Brittany pouted. "I don't like that question."

"You'll like this one better. Who was my first kiss?"

"Cameron Weatherton!" she said excitedly.

"Hey, I remember him," Tina said suddenly. "He played the clarinet in band. Whatever happened to him?"

"He transferred after Santana broke his collarbone when he dumped her," Brittany explained calmly.

"Oh."

"Who won?" Santana asked.

"I think it's safe to say Brittany won. I stopped counting after she got the fifth question in a row," Rachel said, shrugging.

Brittany clapped and Santana smiled at her. "Yay me!"

"Okay, who's next, Santana?"

She peered around the group. "Hmm…Tina."

"Me? Oh…okay."

#

"Rachel, are you still keeping score?"

"Yep."

"Okay." Tina took a breath. "What is my favorite color?"

"Again, with the question-thieving," Matt mumbled, shaking his head at the injustice of it.

"Dark violet," Artie said, smiling.

"What's my favorite song?"

"Complicated, by Avril Lavigne. For now, anyway." Artie winked and Tina smiled.

"What's my favorite TV show?"

"House," Mercedes blurted, a split-second before Artie.

"Right. Um, what's my favorite movie?"

"Legally Blonde," Mercedes said, smiling. "Ironically enough."

Tina blushed. "What's my favorite book?"

"Crime and Punishment," Rachel said, and when they all looked at her, she added, "I've seen you reading it at the library. You read it almost every week, it seems like."

Tina smiled again. "Where would my dream wedding be?"

Kurt sighed dreamily. "On the beach of San Francisco."

"What shirt of mine did Mr. Schue say made me look grown-up?"

"Oh! That classy black one with the V in the neck and three-quarter length sleeves and the back laces up! Gorgeous!" Kurt exclaimed excitedly.

Tina giggled. "Right. I-I decided to do a few dessert ones, because I-I love chocolate." She blushed. "How do I like my brownies?"

"A la mode, with chocolate chips," Artie said, happy to finally get another one.

"What is my favorite type of cookie?"

"Oreos." Artie again.

"And what is my favorite flavor of ice cream?"

"Chocolate swirl!" Artie.

Tina grinned. "Great. That's all I have."

"Tallying…" Rachel said. "Aha, and it'll be Artie with five." She smiled.

Artie grinned.

"You pick the next person, T," Mercedes urged.

"Oh…um…Puck?"

He grinned; everyone groaned.

#

"All right, Rach, babe, you gonna keep score again?"

"Only if you cease calling me babe."

"Sweet. I decided to go with a few of you loser's questions, because I figured some of the ladies would find my other ones offensive."

"And we appreciate it," Quinn said.

He grinned. "What's my favorite color?"

"Black," Finn said.

"Right, dude. What's my favorite song?"

"Ride Wit Me, by Nelly?" Finn asked.

Puck gave a thumbs-up. "What's my favorite TV show?"

"CSI: Miami," Finn said, more certainly this time.

"Why that particular CSI?" Kurt prodded curiously.

"Emily Procter is a babe."

"Ah."

"My favorite movie?"

"The Bourne Identity." Finn again.

"My favorite food?"

"Mashed potatoes," Kurt said, just a second before Finn. When they all looked at him, he said, "I only know because he insisted I mention having them for dinner to Rachel."

"That explains it," Rachel commented, shaking her head.

"Okay. Now for the _real_ questions." Puck grinned. "Who in this room do I have the hots for?"

Everyone blurted at once, "Everyone."

"Hey! You're all wrong! Just the _girls_! God!" Puck shook it off while everyone smirked. "How old was _I_ when I first had sex?"

"Now _that_ is question-stealing," Santana said pointedly to Matt.

"Fourteen," Finn said.

"Just a couple days after my birthday party." Puck sighed sentimentally. "Anyway, how many women have I slept with?"

There was silence.

"Nine?" Mike guessed tentatively.

"Dude. Up high."

Mike grinned, proud of himself, and dug back into the plate of cookies after giving Puck the high-five.

"Now, how many _girls_ have I slept with?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "You practically handed me this one. Thirteen."

"You remember that?"

"I was drunk, not unconscious—unfortunately. And how could I possibly forget your list of reasons to sleep with you, including your fantastic record of twelve gorgeous girls who were all quivering by the time you were finished with them?" she drawled sardonically.

"Well, it got you in bed, didn't it?"

"No, alcohol did."

"Moving on," Rachel interrupted, and Puck sighed.

"Fine. Okay, last question. And there's an extra point in it for why. Who is my favorite making-out partner?"

"Santana?" Mercedes guessed.

"Quinn?" Artie tried.

"No, Rachel," Matt said, grinning. "I remember you telling me this now. She's your favorite because she moves around a lot while she's on top."

"Excellent, bro."

Rachel blushed crimson. "Noah…."

"What? It's a compliment," he said defensively.

"Right, but did you really have to go tell Matt about my proficiencies in the bedroom?"

Quinn groaned. "Can we _please_ move on? I may not be carrying a baby anymore, but _I_ can still get grossed out."

Puck sighed. "Fine. Rachel, you've been keeping score for a while. It's your turn."

"Oh, well…okay."

"Wait, who won?" Finn asked.

"You did."

"Oh, cool. I get to win two in a row. This is awesome." He grinned.

Quinn rolled her eyes.

#

"Tina, do you mind keeping score for me?"

"Not at all."

Rachel sighed, preparing herself. "Okay. What are my goals for the future?"

Everyone started speaking at once, and when the last of them stopped talking, she exchanged a glance with Tina.

"Maybe everyone should split that point," she suggested.

Tina nodded. "Good idea."

"Please tell us you're going to ask harder questions than that," Kurt begged. "If you don't, this is going to be the most boring game ever."

"Of course they're going to get harder. How much do you think you know about me anyway?" she asked haughtily.

Everyone thought about that for a moment and decided they'd rather not answer.

"So, next question. Where is my favorite spot to be touched?"

Puck grinned and lurched forward, swiping his hand over her ribs, just under her breast, from behind. "Right here, baby."

Rachel shivered and giggled, and everyone stared at her. Finn scowled.

"What? I had to give him _one_."

They all shrugged, mentally moving on.

"Okay, now for some easier ones. What is my favorite color?"

Finn said, "Blue," just as Quinn said, "Red."

He frowned at her. "Why would her favorite color be red?"

"Why would it be blue?" she retorted.

"She wears blue all the time," he said defensively.

"That doesn't mean it's her favorite. Look, when we did the Madonna number, she insisted that we save red for her. Thus, it's her favorite color. Get over it," she said, rolling her eyes and going back to painting her toenails.

Finn looked at Rachel hopefully, but she blushed and said, "Um…sh-she's right." He pouted, so she patted his arm and said, "I'm sure you'll get the next one. What's my favorite slushie flavor?"

"Grape." Puck and Quinn said it almost at the same time.

Rachel glanced at Tina uncertainly. "Who do you think?"

"Um…I-I think Quinn was a little faster," she said slowly.

"Damn."

Rachel sighed. "Okay. What is my favorite flavor of lip gloss?"

Finn said, "Grape," just as Quinn said, "Cherry Bomb."

Everyone waited, looking between the three of them with wide eyes. This was just awkward. Rachel met Finn's angry eyes and slowly, hesitantly gestured to Quinn. Tina jotted down the point.

"What is the paperweight on my desk?" Rachel looked anxiously at Quinn, but she didn't look up from her toes.

"Oh, that 'Best Smile' Award from the fifth grade," Puck said, nodding.

Rachel's eyebrows raised, and Finn demanded, "How did you know that?"

"Well, we almost did it against it, and I tend to take inventory of my surroundings. I didn't want to goose her on the thing," Puck said defensively.

Finn glared at him.

"Enough with the sexcapades of Puck and Rachel," Quinn snapped.

"Yes, please," Santana added, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, moving on. What's my favorite song?"

"Don't Rain On My Parade," Finn said eagerly, grinning.

Rachel winced.

"It's My Favorite Things," Quinn said.

"It is not. Why would she pick Don't Rain at Sectionals if it's not her favorite?" Finn asked brusquely.

"Because she loves Barbra Streisand, and My Favorite Things wouldn't have gotten us a win," she replied calmly. "However, it does motivate her to keep going when people are bringing her down."

Rachel gaped for so long Tina had to poke her with the pen, and then she only squeaked. Everyone stared at her in concern, and then she cleared her throat.

"I…right. I, um, anyway. What's—"

"Was that right?" Tina asked.

"Yes, yes, it was. Anyway. What's my favorite book?"

"Is it The Phantom of the Opera?" Finn asked. "That has singing in it."

Quinn sighed. "It's Gone With the Wind."

"But that's about the Civil War, isn't it?"

"And you think Rachel's entire life revolves around singing?"

"…Kinda."

Rachel looked offended, but Quinn said something before she could.

"Well, it doesn't. She loves that book, because she can relate to the main character's struggle for survival. She can also appreciate the hard relationship Scarlett has with Rhett."

"This is creepy," Artie muttered, and the others nodded in agreement.

"Next question," Rachel squeaked, and Tina assumed it was right this time. "What soap scent do I use?"

She glanced at Finn, but he looked completely dumbfounded.

"Cinnamon in the winter, and then you switch to vanilla on the first day of spring," Quinn said, still working on her toes.

"How do you _know_ this stuff?" Puck asked.

Quinn shrugged.

"Okay, last question. Thank God," Rachel mumbled. "What's my rabbi's name?"

"Oh, Rabbi Moskowitz?" Finn asked eagerly. "That's Jewish, right?"

"Were you born this stupid, or do you practice?" Quinn retorted, rolling her eyes.

"Hey! Just because I don't know doesn't mean I'm stupid," he growled.

"It doesn't mean you're smart."

"Just because I don't _stalk_ Rachel—"

"You don't have to. If you would listen to a word that comes out of her mouth, you might actually absorb some of it. Being her boyfriend, I'd expect that to come naturally, but I guess not."

"Well…she says a _lot_. I can't help it if I miss some of it!"

"Some of it? You haven't gotten _one_ right."

"That's not true! I knew about her…life goals."

" _Figgins_ knows her life goals."

"Well, I don't hear you answering this one!"

"Rabbi Greenburg," she said simply.

He scoffed. "You don't know what you're talking about. That's not even Jewish."

"Obviously, I do, since I've owned this game from the start."

"Well, you're wrong!"

"No, I'm not."

"You are, too! An-and you have morning breath. Also, I don't like your hair." Finn promptly pouted.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "You're a sore loser."

"You're annoying!"

"You define the word."

"Go to hell!"

"WHOA! Okay, everyone needs to just…calm down here, all right?" Puck shook his head, pushing Finn back down into his seat. "Finn, just because you lost to Quinn in such a tremendous way it's pathetic, does not mean she should go to hell. Quinn…you're a little frightening sometimes."

She shrugged.

"I don't think we should play this game anymore," Kurt said timidly.

"And further, I don't think Finn and Quinn should be allowed to play How Much Do You Know About Rachel. Ever, ever again," Mercedes added.

"At least not with each other," Santana agreed.

"Fine," Finn growled.

"Fine," Quinn said.

Rachel retreated back to her spot between Finn's legs, and Tina plopped down next to Artie again. Quinn blew on her toenails.

"I'm bored."


	2. Musical Chairs

"I'm still bored."

"We _know_. Shut _up_ ," Santana hissed.

"We need a new game," Mercedes said.

Finn was still pouting, and Rachel was too busy wondering how Quinn Fabray had beaten _everyone_ at a game about _her_ —without even _trying_ —to come up with another suggestion.

"What about Have You Ever?" Kurt offered.

"That's a drinking game," Puck pointed out.

"So?"

"So even if there's a drop of alcohol in Berry's house, she won't be letting us get at it."

"We could use food," Tina suggested.

Puck groaned. "That completely takes the fun out of it."

"Beggars can't be choosers," Santana reminded him.

"Well, even if we did use food, Mike ate all the cookies, and the rest of Rachel's food is vegan chick food that no one wants to eat."

"He has a valid point," Artie said, nodding.

"Thank you."

"Okay, fine." Kurt huffed. "Rachel, do you have any board games that are not Monopoly or chess?"

Silence.

"Rachel?" he prodded.

"Huh? Oh…games? Um, we don't play a lot of board games around here. I have a few Scene Its."

"Oh, that might be fun," Mercedes said. "What versions do you have?"

"Uh—"

"We can't play that. Brittany always loses," Santana cut in, shaking her head.

There was a collective sigh.

"…Karaoke?" Kurt said tentatively.

"No!" six of them said at once.

"Well, someone else come up with something then," he said irritably. "I'm out of ideas."

Mercedes patted his hand.

"What about musical chairs?" Mike suggested, bouncing in his chair.

"Are we five?" Puck asked.

"Artie can't play that," Tina added.

"Oh, it's cool. I could control the music," he said agreeably.

"That sounds fun," Brittany said, and when Santana narrowed her eyes at them, they groaned.

"I don't think I have enough chairs for everyone to play…" Rachel said, in a last-ditch effort to get out of it.

Santana glared. Thankfully, Mercedes decided to save Rachel from a slow, painful death.

"That's cool. Kurt and I can be the referees," she supplied. Kurt grinned at her. "That should leave enough, right?"

Rachel did the math. Damn it. Quinn sighed when she saw Rachel's resigned look. Damn it, indeed.

"If we use my computer chair," Rachel sighed.

Puck leapt up. "I'll get it!"

"No! No way are you going in my room. Finn, would you please?"

"Fine," he grumbled.

Puck scowled. "Why do you trust _him_ to do it?"

"Because _he_ won't steal my underwear."

"Again, with the gross!" Quinn exclaimed.

"I'm not arguing with you," Rachel said.

There was an awkward pause.

"Noah, would you please go get the other chairs from the dining room?" She even batted her eyelashes.

"Oh, fine," he growled, dragging Matt behind him.

#

"Rachel, is every CD in your house something from Broadway?" Artie asked, shuffling through CDs.

"Of course not. My tastes in music aren't _that_ limited. I have a few Celine Dion—"

Kurt perked up, but everyone else shouted, "No!" He drooped.

Rachel sighed. "As I was _saying_ , I also have The All-American Rejects, The Supremes, Madonna, Lady Gaga—"

"This could go on for a while," Kurt said.

"Hey, you also have 3OH!3, don't you?" Puck asked.

Rachel turned red. "No."

"You do, too, I've _seen_ it!"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Let me guess. You were looking for good humping music and just happened to stumble across it while digging through her drawers, also with the ulterior motives of finding a condom and stealing a nice thong."

"I don't have thongs," Rachel mumbled.

"That's actually not true," Puck said. "I picked her up from her ballet class and she was doing a little extra practicing to it." He grinned. "Sexy as hell, but she wouldn't let me touch her while she was all sweaty."

"How much dating did you guys _do_ while we weren't looking?" Santana asked, nose wrinkled.

"Not much," they admitted simultaneously.

"This all happened in the space of about three days," Rachel confessed, glancing nervously at a red Finn.

"Damn, you move fast, Berry," Santana commented.

She cleared her throat. "Well, Noah is very convincing in his persistent groping. It was either make out or be molested while trying to film my nightly MySpace video, and that's something I don't believe any of my viewers need to see."

"I definitely, definitely don't," Quinn said.

Again, there was awkwardness to be had.

"Are we going to play soon?" Brittany whispered to Santana.

She nodded to reassure her, and Puck said, "Who votes for 3OH!3?"

The boys—even Kurt—raised their hands. Rachel sighed when they cheered.

"You need a majority to win, you know," she said icily.

"Brittany, would you rather keep debating over what song to use or play?" Puck asked abruptly.

"Play!" she said immediately. "This is boring!"

Santana narrowed her eyes. Puck grinned. Rachel huffed.

"I'll go get it…" she grumbled.

#

"Will you press pause already?" Puck scowled. "I'm getting bored."

"You've been walking for two minutes," Mercedes pointed out.

"And it's boring."

"He's right. This was a lame idea," Finn groused. "OW! Jesus, Santana!"

"I'm going to have to protest you beating up my boyfriend, Santana," Rachel said. "I've discovered that he bruises fairly easily, and you aren't exactly a weakling."

"Hey! She's not beating me up!" Finn protested.

"I punched you," Santana pointed out. "That counts."

"Only in the arm," he mumbled.

"We can throw down right here, if you want, Finnessa."

"I'm not fighting you."

"'Fraid to get beat by a girl again?"

"Twice in one night _would_ be pretty rough," Matt said.

Artie clicked pause before Finn could respond. They scrambled, and Tina was the first one out.

"I'm never fast enough," she said good-naturedly. Artie patted her knee.

Mercedes and Kurt pulled out another chair and Artie clicked play again.

"I can't believe you have this CD," Mike said.

"Or, really, that you own anything related to 3OH!3 at all," Matt agreed.

"They have a good beat," Rachel said defensively, "and not all their songs are about…that. I don't think. And just because I don't happen to display any particular interest in sexually tinted things does not mean I don't _occasionally_ enjoy indulging in them. Most of the time, however, I find this band extremely offensive."

"You love them," Quinn said.

Rachel blushed.

"Quinn, you're really creepy tonight," Brittany observed.

"I haven't had a chance to be 'creepy' any other night," she replied.

Only Brittany and Quinn seemed to get that one.

"I'm having flashbacks to the fifth grade." Santana sighed.

"At least now you have boobs," Puck said.

"That's only a benefit to _you_."

"And me."

"And Brittany."

Artie clicked pause. There was a brief tussle between Mike and Matt before the latter finally got squeezed out and went to pout on the couch.

"Whose idea was this again?" Finn asked.

"Mike's," Rachel answered.

"Must you remember every little thing?" Mike demanded, frowning.

She shrugged.

"Bro? Lame idea," Finn told him. "OW!"

Santana scowled. "Quinn, Rachel. You've both dated this moron for longer than two dates. Does he learn new tricks?"

They shook their heads and said concurrently, "No."

"Hey! I did learn n—stuff! Didn't I learn you're allergic to lilies?" Finn asked pointedly.

"I'll give you that," Quinn said grudgingly.

There was a lull.

"But you still don't know anything about Rachel."

"Okay, _that's_ —"

Artie hit pause. Finn was fuming, and he marched over to the spot next to Matt with a huff.

"She distracted me," he mumbled in quiet protest.

"Still, you didn't even try to sit," Kurt pointed out. "That means you're out."

The music started up again.

"This music _does_ kind of make you feel like dancing," Mike said. "But I still don't see it going with ballet."

Puck grinned. "She probably practices freak-dancing to it."

"I do not!" Rachel squeaked indignantly.

"Puck, you _saw_ her. Shouldn't you know how she was dancing?" Santana asked.

"I was a little focused on her ass," he said. "OW! Quinn, what the hell? My baby mama is turning on me. OW! The women are getting _violent_ in here!"

"San, you've 'dated' this moron longer than it takes to recover from drinking several wine coolers. Does he learn new tricks?" Quinn asked sardonically.

Santana shook her head. "No."

"Hey, our sex was great!" Puck exclaimed. "And you thought so, too! You don't moan like _that_ because you sorta, kinda might like it a little bit."

"You know, most women fake it at one time or another," Rachel said helpfully.

"She did not fake it!" he bellowed. "No one fakes it with Puckzilla!"

"How do you know?"

"Uh—"

"San, Britt, ever faked it under Puck?" Quinn asked casually. Both nodded. "There you go."

He looked too outraged to comment. Artie hit pause and they ran for seats. Santana and Puck got into a shoving match until she stepped on his toe. He went limping to the sidelines.

"That was cheating," he protested.

"All the same, the injury has put you out of commission," Kurt said.

"Mercedes?" Puck growled.

"The judges are unanimous."

He sighed.

"I feel so alone," Mike said when they started walking again.

Brittany patted him.

"Girls are just more agile than boys," Rachel said.

"So you won't be alone for long," Quinn added.

"Are you sure it's agility?" Santana asked. "I think it's because you're short. You can maneuver yourself easier."

Rachel sighed. "My shortness only helps with people as tall as Finn. I can duck under his arms."

"How does that work when you guys are doing it?" Brittany asked curiously.

"He must eat pillow a lot," Santana commented.

"We do _not_ do it!" Rachel screeched.

"And yet, the mental images remain," Quinn said thoughtfully. "Ew."

"For your information, the furthest base we've been to is—"

Santana huffed. "Artie, please hit pause so she shuts up."

He obeyed, and Mike was the one left standing after Rachel swept around him.

"See, Shorty? I was right."

"That had nothing to do with my height, Santana."

"Sure it did. You were below his range of vision. You swept under the radar."

"I'm not even that short! I'm only five foot two!"

"Yes. Only."

Rachel fumed.

"San, I think you made her mad," Brittany observed.

"Oops."

"I wouldn't be so nonchalant. I don't think you really want to throw down with Berry," Quinn said.

Santana scoffed. "And why not?"

"Well, for one thing, you _just_ pointed out that she's short. Not to mention, fast. It's kind of like trying to battle the Road Runner. You can keep trying, but he just keeps getting away."

Brittany giggled. "Can you make that noise?"

Rachel frowned. "What noise?"

"You know…meep-meep?"

"Um…I don't think so. Sorry."

Brittany drooped.

"She can make other noises, though," Puck commented.

"Noah!"

Artie hit pause. Quinn and Rachel scurried into their chairs, and Santana walked to the side with everyone else.

"Aw, San, you didn't have to give up," Brittany pouted.

"It's okay, B. I'll kick ass in the next game." Santana winked.

Brittany brightened, and Artie hit play.

"Is anyone else getting bored?" Finn asked.

"Puck probably is," Quinn replied.

"Yeeep."

"We could stop," Kurt offered.

"But no one has won yet," Rachel pointed out, confused. "I thought the point of playing games was to reach a conclusive ending with a clear winner."

There was another collective sigh.

"What does everyone want to play after this?" Mercedes asked.

"Hangman?" Matt suggested.

"That's a two-person game," Tina said.

"Apparently Matt doesn't remember how well our last two-person game went," Santana said, rolling her eyes.

He scowled.

"We could play Pictionary," Artie proposed.

"Rachel doesn't have that," Kurt said.

Artie frowned. "What is wrong with you?"

Rachel blushed. "Nothing! We just don't happen to have a lot of time for board games around here. And why does every conversation have to come back to me tonight?"

"Well, we are in your house," Mercedes said pointedly.

"Rachel's right. We should stop talking about her before Quinn gets more material to write in her diary," Finn said sarcastically.

"Do you want to go? Because I will take you down, Hudson," Quinn snarled.

"Down to Chinatown. And not for egg rolls, if you know what I mean," Artie muttered. Tina giggled.

He hit pause, and Rachel and Quinn plopped into their chairs. Brittany bounced to her spot next to Santana.

"I suppose you're going to make us keep going," Kurt said, frowning at Rachel.

"If you guys don't want to know who the musical chair winner is, fine," she said, folding her arms.

They sighed and Artie hit play again.

"I thought you were supposed to run in the last round," Puck said.

"I don't feel like it," Quinn retorted.

"Besides, it's not written anywhere. We're just saving our energy for when we most need it," Rachel said, nodding sagely.

There was silence for a moment.

"You know who the best superhero of all time is?" Puck asked.

The girls tuned the impending argument out. Rachel shifted her circle tighter to the chair; Quinn mimicked the movement.

"Quinn?" Rachel prompted softly.

"Rachel?"

"How did you know the answers to all of those questions?"

"I discovered a few months ago that, much to my dismay, I actually listen when you talk."

"Wow."

"I know. I almost had an identity crisis."

"No, I meant 'wow' that you managed to subtly insult me while admitting to that."

"I'm talented."

"I know." Rachel frowned. "How did you know about the lip gloss and soap, though? I don't talk to people about that sort of thing. I don't think."

"I have eyes." Rachel arched a brow. Quinn sighed. "You pull that Cherry Bomb lip gloss out of your pocket every day before glee."

"And the soap?"

"I may have broken into your house and dug through your personal things."

She gaped. "What?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I'm kidding."

"You're not good at that."

"I'll work on it."

"Seriously, how did you know?" she prodded.

Quinn sighed. "Remember that day Matt accidentally hit you in the head with the football and we had to take you to the hospital because you passed out?"

"Vaguely."

"I…had to sit with you and when you woke up, I told you that you smelled interesting or something like that. You explained it to me and went back to sleep. End of story."

Rachel frowned. "Oh. But how did you—"

Artie clicked pause and they both lunged for the chair. Both were half-sitting on it, trying to scoot the other off.

"Yes! Girl fight! Finally, something _interesting_ is happening!" Puck exclaimed.

Everyone started shouting and clapping, egging them on.

#

"You two are both really strong," Kurt decided.

"Neither of you has moved an inch," Mercedes agreed.

"Maybe we need to solve this another way," he suggested. "Like…you could do a sing-off."

"No freaking way, Hummel," Quinn growled.

"Oh! Mud-wrestling!" Puck exclaimed, grinning and high-fiving Mike.

"NO!" Quinn and Rachel shouted simultaneously.

"Fine. Be boring."

"What if you just tried again?" Santana offered, sounding bored.

"Ladies?" Kurt asked.

"Fine," Quinn grumbled.

"Fine with me," Rachel agreed.

They finally broke apart and stood, sighing.

"Ready, girls?" Artie asked.

"Yes."

"Just do it."

He obeyed. The girls walked again, eyeing each other warily. The others clapped and cheered from the sides.

This time when Artie clicked pause, Quinn swung her leg over the chair and Rachel jumped in just in front of her. Kurt and Mercedes sighed. It was too close to call who sat first.

"Well, judges?" Finn prompted. "Who won?"

"Both their asses are on the chair," Santana pointed out. "They tied. Again."

"So we do it again," Rachel offered.

"I'm not doing it again," Quinn said.

Puck grinned. "That's what she said."

"I would hit you, but Berry is trapping me."

"You're the one who decided to straddle the chair, instead of sitting in it like a normal person."

"It was easier from where I was."

"Well, I guess this game is over," Tina said, shrugging. "What next?"

"It's not over," Rachel protested. "We're both still on the chair. You can't just end it with a tie."

"Yes, you can. That's why they have 'ties.' So you can have them," Mercedes replied.

"The first one to get up is the loser," Quinn cut in. "How about that?"

Rachel considered it. "Okay. But you are probably going to lose, just so you know. I can go hours without water."

"Well, I'm the one in the back."

"So?"

"So I can do this."

Quinn tickled her sides and Rachel shrieked.

"This is fun," Puck said happily.

"Well, now _I'm_ bored. And I'm pretty sure Britt is, too. Right, B?" Santana asked.

"Very bored."

"So? What next?"


	3. Twister

"It needs to be something Rachel and Quinn can play without moving," Kurt pondered.

"They're playing their own game," Santana said dismissively.

"Yeah, but eventually they're going to get bored just sitting there," Mercedes said sympathetically.

"Then get off the damn chair."

"We can play a board game if someone moves our pieces," Rachel offered.

"But you don't have any board games besides chess, Monopoly, and Scene It," Artie said.

"And no one wants to play Monopoly with twelve people," Tina added.

"There wouldn't be any money left," Mike agreed.

"I still think Hangman is a viable option," Matt said.

"Again, there are _twelve_ people here. We can't play a two-person game with twelve people," Santana growled.

"Maybe everyone could get turns guessing," Puck suggested, shrugging.

"That completely destroys the point of the game," Mercedes said, shaking her head.

"No one would win," Kurt agreed.

Quinn and Rachel tuned out the argument again. Rachel shivered.

"What are you _doing_ back there?" she hissed.

Quinn shrugged. "Writing on your back. I didn't know you weren't wearing a bra. The argyle must distract from it."

Rachel blushed. "Yes, well, when I get home, I like to relax. …What are you writing anyway? Was that a heart?"

"Yes. But I can't decide what I heart."

"You could heart glee."

"Hm. Okay."

Rachel felt Quinn swipe the 'g' and the 'l' with her finger before she realized someone had asked her something.

"Sorry, what?"

"Do. You. Have. Cards?" Kurt repeated impatiently.

"I do, but what would we play?"

"Go Fish," Brittany said.

"Poker," Puck suggested.

"B.S.," Santana offered.

"Hearts," Matt added.

"Euchre," Mike tacked on.

"Bridge," Mercedes said.

"First of all, most of those games require a total of four people, or less. Second, I don't have any poker chips, and as Noah pointed out earlier, we can't use food because no one would want to eat it but me. And I'm sorry, Brittany, but I think Go Fish would be rather difficult for Quinn and I to play at the moment," Rachel said apologetically.

"Although this position _would_ make it easier for me to cheat," Quinn pointed out.

"Back to square one," Finn said, sighing.

"You cheat at Go Fish?" Rachel was aghast.

Quinn laughed. Rachel shivered.

"What about Twister?" Tina suggested tentatively.

Puck grinned. "Marry me."

She gaped. "What?"

"On second thought, don't. You can't chain me down. Still, you're a goddess for picking that game."

Tina blushed. Artie glared at him.

"Do you even have that?" Kurt asked, sighing.

"In the upstairs closet on the second shelf in the far back," Rachel recited.

Finn lumbered to go get it.

"But Artie can't play it, and I don't think everyone will fit on the mat," she said uncertainly.

"You two can't participate anyway," Mercedes pointed out. "You guys can work the spinner."

"It doesn't take three people to spin a plastic arrow."

"I could check to make sure no one's knees or elbows are touching the mat," Artie offered.

"And I can make sure you're calling the shots right," Quinn said.

Rachel frowned. "And if you believe I'm not?"

Quinn tickled up her sides again and Rachel batted her hands away, squealing.

"And you thought the slushies were bad," Kurt commented.

"All right, found it," Finn announced, carrying the box to the middle of the room.

"Did you know that Twister was actually extremely controversial when it was first released?" Rachel asked. Everyone groaned. "No, seriously. People thought the company was selling 'sex in a box.'"

"I don't think two people could fit in that box," Brittany said, eyeing it.

"It was one of the first games to use human pieces," Rachel continued.

"It would be hard to have sex in a box," Matt said suddenly.

"Damn near impossible," Puck agreed.

Mike frowned in thought. "Maybe if you had one of those big moving boxes for like a refrigerator."

"You three are appalling," Rachel said sagely.

"I think I'm offended," Matt said, and Mike nodded.

Puck scowled. "Why?"

"Well, do you ever think about anything other than sex?"

Crickets.

"I thought about sex the other day," Mercedes said abruptly.

"Me, too. But then I had a math test," Tina said wistfully.

"That'll do it."

"You should get pregnant," Quinn said wryly. "You will never stop thinking about it. And if you do, you'll be thinking about food."

"Hold on a minute. I thought you said girls want sex just as much as guys do," Finn said, drooping.

"That doesn't mean we think about 24/7," Rachel replied.

"Are we ready yet?" Santana asked impatiently.

"We have been. Almost since Finn got here with it," Kurt said.

"Fine, let's do this."

"Spinner, please," Rachel said.

Finn handed it over and they lined up around the mat.

"Are we going alphabetically?" Tina asked curiously.

Rachel glanced back at Quinn, who shrugged.

"Sure." She spun. "Brittany, right foot, blue."

#

"I love this game," Puck said happily, behind Santana.

"I can really tell," Santana replied, scowling. "Rachel, if you don't get me the hell out of this position, I will drag you out of that damn chair."

"Just wait, and I'll do my best. It's Mike's turn." She spun again. "Okay, left hand red."

"I officially hate this game," Kurt groaned. "You need to use deodorant. And also? Someone needs to fall already!"

"We've made a giant pretzel," Mercedes observed, leg over Finn's arm.

"An orgy pretzel," Brittany added from under Santana.

"At least no one's naked," Finn said, wincing at Matt's ankle.

"That would be awkward," he agreed.

"And hot," Puck said, grinning.

Everyone stared at him.

"But only if it was the girls!" he exclaimed. "God!"

"Methinks the man whore doth protest too much," Quinn said, smirking.

Puck glared. "You getting tired over there, Quinn?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you just look so exhausted resting on Rachel's shoulder like that."

She shot up and Rachel frowned.

"I'm not tired," Quinn snapped.

"Uh huh."

"If you two are done subtexting, could we please move on before my wrist breaks?" Kurt asked. "Please?"

Rachel sighed. "Right. Santana, left hand green."

"That is impossible."

She promptly fell, taking Brittany with her.

"See?" They squirmed out of the pile to the sidelines.

"Sorry. The spinner goes where it pleases."

"It might be more fun if you were diabolical and shouted out instructions that would _make_ them fall," Artie said.

They stared at him.

"Or, you know, this way is fun, too."

"Anyway…. Tina, left hand yellow."

"You know, I do use deodorant," Mike muttered.

"What brand?" Kurt asked.

"Axe."

"Oh, no, no, no. No," Mercedes said, shaking her head.

"Finn, right hand yellow."

"Thank you."

"What's wrong with Axe?" Mike asked defensively.

"You know how in the commercials the women can't stop fawning over and-or eating him?" Santana retorted.

"Yeah…."

"That's pretty much the exact opposite of what actually happens."

"That's why I had to switch," Puck said, nodding. "It was killing my game."

"And it helped that I threatened to spray you in the eyes with my perfume if you didn't switch."

"That, too."

"Kurt, left hand red."

"Whew. Escape from the smell."

"So what do you guys suggest?" Mike asked. "Like, what's a good scent or whatever?"

Quinn sighed absently. "Cinnamon and vanilla."

There was an awkward pause.

She cleared her throat. "Or…Old Spice?"

"Matt, your elbow is touching the mat!" Artie exclaimed triumphantly.

They all stared at him again.

"What?" He looked at Tina. "Did I miss something?"

"Quinn's just getting sleepy over there again," Puck commented.

"You know, if the spinner lands on right hand yellow for you, you'll be in your favorite position," Quinn growled.

He glanced down at Kurt. "Point taken. Lips are zipped."

"Good."

"I still feel like I'm missing something," Artie said, frowning.

"You're not the only one," Rachel assured him. "But Quinn, I'm flattered that you like my soap scents, since you don't seem to like anything else I do as far as feminizing myself goes."

"You are stupid," Santana said flatly, and Quinn glared at her.

"Excuse me?"

"Spin, woman, spin!" Kurt yelped.

"Finn," Rachel whined, and he blinked.

"What? Oh! Hey, Santana, don't call my girlfriend stupid."

"You are, too."

"Hey!"

"As soon as we're done with this game, I'm taking spinning rights away from you, Berry," Kurt muttered.

"Oh, sorry, Kurt. Mercedes, right foot green."

"Yeah, baby." Puck grinned.

"You're not even in a good viewing area, and I'm wearing pants," she pointed out, frowning at him.

"I have a good imagination."

"He does. He called me 'Leia' when we used to do it," Brittany said, nodding sagely.

He turned red when everyone stared at him.

"Not from Star Wars. Just some…hot chick I dated this one time."

"You have a Star Wars fetish," Mercedes taunted, grinning.

"Hey, Britt, did he make you dress up, too?" Mike asked, giggling.

"He gave me this gold bikini once. I still have it. San and I use it for bondage."

There was another awkward silence, and Rachel glanced back at Quinn before clearing her throat.

"Puck has a Star Wars fetish," Matt chanted, and they all joined in.

"Shut up! She is _hot_ , okay? I don't like the actual movie," Puck growled. "I am so kicking you guys' asses when we're done with this game."

"Speaking of which, spin the stinking arrow, Rachel!" Kurt interrupted. "I am going to die."

"If it hurts that bad, just drop, dude," Finn suggested. "It's no big deal."

"Mike, right foot blue," Rachel said.

He ended up taking Tina and Kurt out with him.

"Thank you," Kurt said, plopping next to Brittany.

"Sweet. Now all we gotta do is get rid of Finn, babe," Puck said, waggling his eyebrows at Mercedes.

"I really thought you were done being into me," she replied.

"Puck is never done being into anything female," Quinn pointed out. "Except, of course, if you kick him in the crotch."

Mercedes grinned. "I'll keep that in mind."

Puck glowered. "Getting tired again, Quinn?"

She opened her mouth, but Rachel said, "Would you stop saying that to her? Every time you do, she sits up, and she's being my blanket. Do you want me to be cold?"

Finn frowned in confusion. Puck grinned.

"Course not, babe. But I think maybe she should cuddle up closer in that case. You're looking pretty nippy to me."

She turned crimson. "Puck, left hand green."

"Aw, come on, that's just cruel."

"Sorry, the spinner calls the shots."

"You're just—oof!"

"And you're out," Artie said, smiling.

"Why don't you get yourself a cookie or something, Puck?" Quinn asked, smiling.

"Mike ate them all," he reminded her.

"Then I'll buy you one tomorrow," she replied.

"Down to you and Mercedes, Finn," Kurt said, smirking. "Think you can handle it?"

"Bring it," he said, and everyone started cheering.

#

Mercedes won. Finn ended up having to cross his legs and his arms, which just didn't work out so well.

"That was fun," Kurt said with a sigh.

"You complained through half of it," Santana pointed out.

He shrugged. "It was still fun."

"New game?" Tina asked quietly. "Or another round?"

"I think we should play Truth or Dare next," Puck said, grinning. "Always save the best for last."

"Who says the next game is the last one?" Artie asked.

"No one. That's why I'm saving Seven Minutes in Heaven."

"You're strange," he said, shaking his head.

Puck shrugged. "What can I say? I'd like to get _some_ at this party."

"What if you end up in there with a guy?" Mercedes asked.

He paled. "Maybe it should be opposite sex partners only."

"That's not fair," Brittany said, pouting.

"Yeah, how am _I_ supposed to get any with that rule?" Santana growled.

"Okay, Quinn, you win!" Rachel squeaked, springing out of the chair.

Everyone stared at her.

"I thought we should quit that silly game so we can get in a round of Twister. After all, it's only fair that we get to participate in one, since we did all the spinning work. And perhaps Kurt and Mercedes wouldn't mind being in charge of spinning this time, since she won this round and Kurt's shoulder was about to go out, would you guys mind?"

The staring continued.

"Um…I guess not."

"Great! Let's play!"

#

"Rachel, right hand green," Mercedes said.

She paled. "What?"

"You heard her. Right hand green," Santana said, grinning.

She, Quinn, Rachel, and Mike were the only ones left on the mat. Rachel glared at her and moved. Right on top of Quinn. She turned beet red.

"Okay, Santana, left foot blue," Kurt called out.

Quinn was biting her lip, trying not to laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" Rachel hissed.

"You should see your face," she whispered back.

"Well, this position isn't exactly…."

"Mike, right hand blue," Mercedes said. He fell.

"You didn't mind so much with Finn," Quinn muttered.

"That's because he—never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

"No, it's nothing important."

"Do I look like I have anything better to do?"

Rachel blushed harder.

"Quinn, right foot yellow," Kurt instructed.

She hooked her leg around Rachel's.

"Tell me," she sing-songed.

"It's _nothing_."

"If it was nothing, you wouldn't have said anything."

"Rachel, left foot yellow," Mercedes interrupted.

She crossed her legs and promptly fell flat on Quinn. There was an awkward pause and she leapt up.

"Okay, Santana wins, who wants to play Truth or Dare?" Rachel squeaked.

Quinn smirked.


	4. Truth or Dare

"I'll put the game away," Finn said, folding it up.

"Thank you. Noah, why don't you start us off?" Rachel asked, sitting between Tina and the arm of the couch.

"I thought you wanted to—"

"He can never think of questions," Santana interrupted, rolling her eyes.

"Then why did you suggest it?" Mercedes asked.

"Because it's _awesome_."

"Well, you suggested it, so you start it," Rachel ordered.

"Bu—"

" _Now_."

"Santana."

"Dare," she said smugly.

"Umm…."

#

"This is the most boring game of Truth or Dare ever," Kurt commented, yawning.

"I don't think Puck should've started us off," Artie agreed.

"Shut up! I'm thinking."

"You've been thinking for fifteen minutes. Come up with something already, dude," Matt said.

"Okay, okay. Fine. Santana, I dare you to…eat the turkey I saw in Rachel's fridge with any condiments you can find in there," he said, nodding. "And if you throw up afterward, it doesn't count."

"You have turkey?" Finn asked, frowning.

"It's my dad's. And a week old," she said.

Santana left, and they heard the microwave.

"I can't believe you let Quinn win," Tina said eventually.

"She didn't win the Twister game," Rachel said, confused.

"I mean the musical chair thing."

She turned red. "Oh. Well…I-I was getting bored of that game. Besides, winning isn't everything."

Quinn smirked. The rest of them gaped. Santana came back with her plate of ketchup-covered turkey and they all watched in disgust as she wolfed it down. She burped.

"Okay, Britt," she said.

"How did you _do_ that? That was so gross," Mercedes commented, grimacing.

"When you live on Coach Sylvester's diet, you learn to repress your gag reflex."

"Dare!" Brittany said excitedly.

"I dare you to go without panties for the rest of the party."

"Sweet!" Puck exclaimed, and Brittany went off to the bathroom.

"I don't think I'm going with dare this game," Tina said timidly.

Artie patted her. "Don't worry. None of us could be that cruel to you."

She smiled. Brittany plopped next to Santana, smiling.

"Mike."

"Oh…truth," he said, shrugging.

"Wuss," Matt said. "OW! Why does everyone keep hitting tonight?"

"The girls did it first," Mike pointed out.

"But they're girls. They—"

"Matt, I'm going to stop you right there before you say something completely chauvinistic for which you will have to be flogged and punished," Rachel said icily.

He paled.

Brittany huffed. "Excuse me? Okay, what is the worst nightmare you have ever had?"

Mike frowned. "Consequences?"

"You have to…kiss Finn."

There was a collective 'ew,' and Finn shifted away from her.

"Okay, the worst nightmare was…what you just said." Mike grinned. "Just kidding, it's actually that I'm in this really dark, empty warehouse, and this crazy vampire clown with an axe is chasing me."

"Poor Mike," Tina empathized.

"Yeah, but the worst part is when I run into the bathroom and Figgins is in the bathtub."

They all flinched.

"Dude, that _is_ bad," Puck agreed, shaking his head.

"I know. Okay, so…who hasn't gone? Mercedes?"

"Oh, what the heck? Dare."

"Okay, I dare you to…Kurt, cover your ears."

He frowned. "Why?"

"Just do it, dude."

Kurt pouted, but obeyed. Mercedes frowned apprehensively.

"I dare you to steal his daily moisturizer," Mike said solemnly. "I saw it in his sleeping bag when he came in."

She gasped. "I couldn't! Consequences!"

"Steal Rachel's Celine Dion CD."

Rachel squeaked indignantly and Mercedes got up to grab the moisturizer from Kurt's sleeping bag.

"What are you doing? Hey, that's mine!" he yelped, grabbing for it.

"He dared me to," Mercedes said accusingly.

Kurt was aghast. "Shame on you! Shame on both of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves." And he shook his head.

"Actually…your reaction is making it fun," she replied, grinning. He glared at her. "Okay, Matt."

"Dare," he said, bouncing.

"Hmmm…okay, I've got it. Find Rachel's oldest CD with _the_ weirdest song and do an interpretive dance to it wearing only your boxers and shirt."

"Dude, sweet!" Puck said, reaching to high-five her.

"That's awesome," Finn agreed, and Mercedes smiled, pleased with herself.

Matt paled. "Um…consequences?"

"Oh, come on. Be a man," Santana growled.

He bolted up the stairs.

"Don't move anything!" Rachel yelled after him.

Matt returned and shucked off his jeans, stuck the CD in, and skipped to the song Love Shack. The girls cat-called and wolf-whistled and sang along from the sidelines while he danced; the guys howled with laughter.

When he finished dancing in slow-mo, he sat and said sagely, "I am not gay."

Mike patted him.

"Good God, don't anyone tell Mr. Schue about that," Puck said, shaking his head.

"Why?" Tina asked.

"He'll make us _do_ it. Don't think I've forgotten about the disco incident."

"You weren't even there when that happened," Rachel pointed out.

"But I had to hear Finn whining and moaning about it, and that's enough torture for me."

"Hey!" Finn exclaimed.

"Can I pick someone now?" Matt asked. "All right…how about Artie?"

"As I think any dares could be detrimental to my wheelchair's health, truth," he said.

"Oh. Uh…who is _your_ favorite superhero?"

"Lame," Puck coughed.

"Green Lantern. Tina?"

"Truth," she said cheerfully.

"How many boys have you kissed?" he asked suspiciously.

She laughed and pecked him on the lips. "One."

He smiled, satisfied.

"Okay…Kurt?"

He grinned. "Dare."

"Oh. Ummm…I dare you to…I can't think of anything."

Puck swiftly whispered in her ear and she blushed.

"I-I appreciate the suggestion, but—"

Rachel whispered in her ear from the other side.

"Oh. Okay, Kurt, I dare you to mess up your hair and leave it that way until the end of this game," Tina said mischievously.

He gaped, then glared, then slowly mussed it up, with the hasty help of everyone sitting in his vicinity. Then he folded his arms and pouted.

"I hate you both."

Tina frowned sadly and Rachel patted her.

"Okay, Rachel," Kurt said, narrowing his eyes.

"Truth."

"Excellent. Why did you let Quinn win?"

Quinn perked up and Rachel shifted nervously.

"…Consequences?"

"Fry and eat an egg."

She squeaked incoherently and Tina rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"Fine. Bastard," Rachel muttered, then said louder, "I…decided that…my butt hurt. From the chair."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Total lie. Go get the egg or I—"

"Okay, okay, fine!" She huffed and folded her arms, pouting. "I hate you."

"I know. It's okay."

"She was giving me a massage because my back hurt. And she…accidentally touched a…certain favorite area of mine…that was mentioned. Earlier this evening."

Finn glowered; Quinn smirked; Rachel squirmed uncomfortably. And Kurt grinned smugly.

"Okay, so Finn," she said brightly.

"Uh…truth."

"Wuss," Puck said.

"I have put up with a lot of crap tonight, and I think I've proved my manliness," Finn growled. "Truth."

"How many girlfriends have you had?" she asked curiously.

"Uh…I…consequences?"

"As I said, wuss."

"You have to sing I Feel Pretty in falsetto, while wearing makeup," Rachel said simply.

"Damn!" Mercedes exclaimed, grinning. "Go, hot mama!"

"You are _good_ ," Artie agreed, and Rachel grinned.

"Oh. Well, um…three officially," Finn said, clearing his throat.

"What about Santana and Brittany?" she inquired.

"They weren't, um…technically they were dates," he replied awkwardly.

"Or, in Santana's case, a one night stand," Puck said, exchanging a grin with Mike.

Rachel frowned. "But they didn't have—"

Santana was shaking her head. Rachel stiffened, refusing to look at Finn.

"I see."

"But it didn't mean anything!" Finn exclaimed. "I swear, it really didn't, I was just—"

"Would you please address Quinn? She's the only one who hasn't gone yet, I believe," Rachel said curtly.

Finn drooped and turned to Quinn, who grinned at him. He glared.

"Okay…Quinn?"

"Oh…dare," she said, shrugging.

He folded his arms. "I dare you to admit why you know so much about Rachel."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Because I _listen_. When. She. Talks. Can you get a grip and _move on_?"

"Please," Santana agreed, nodding.

"It's just sad, man," Puck added.

Finn promptly pouted.

"Well, that was pretty fun," Matt said. "Except for the traumatizing parts."

"Quinn didn't get to dare anyone, though," Mercedes pointed out. "Shouldn't she get a turn?"

"Thank you, Mercedes."

"No problem, girl."

"Rachel."

"Huh? Uh…truth?"

"What weren't you telling me during Twister?" Quinn asked, smirking.

Rachel squirmed. "Consequences?"

"Donate more of your panties to the I'm Desperate For Rachel Berry JewFro club."

"I think they prefer being called I'm Deaf," Santana quipped.

"Can I at least whisper it to you?" Rachel asked uncomfortably.

"I think I can allow that."

Rachel sank next to her and cupped her ear to whisper. Everyone leaned in, trying to hear as Quinn's smirk grew.

#

"Before I tell you this, I am _begging_ you not to make a snide comment, because I honestly don't think I could handle that from you right now." She sighed. "I was going to say that I didn't mind it with Finn because with him that position isn't arousing, since he doesn't stir those feelings in me when we make out, let alone when sex is referenced."

#

Everyone was pouting when Rachel pulled back and frowned at Quinn.

"Are you happy now?" she grumped.

Quinn grinned. "Very."

Rachel folded her arms while the rest of them waited, and Kurt huffed first.

"Rachel, you have to go next," he reminded her.

"Ah, right." She frowned in thought, then narrowed her eyes at Quinn. "Quinn."

"Truth."

"What really happened in the hospital when you found out what I do with my soap scents?" she challenged.

Quinn glared and Rachel raised her chin.

"I'm whispering it in your ear," she said flatly.

"Fine with me."

Quinn leaned and the rest of them huffed.

#

"I didn't have to sit with you. Everyone went to the cafeteria; I stayed with you claiming I wasn't hungry. You came to and asked what happened, I explained that you passed out, you asked me to sit with you, I did, I told you that you smelled amazing, you explained what you do, and then you went back to sleep. End of story."

#

"Happy?"

"I would've preferred the utilization of a less deprecating tone in your description, but yes, happy."

"Your turn, Quinn," Matt said, glancing at the others.

They waited on the edge of their seats while Quinn frowned at Rachel.

"Rachel."

They sighed.

"Truth."

"Did you really sleep with Jesse St. James?"

"Of course she did," Finn blurted, scowling.

Quinn waited and Rachel shifted before mumbling, "No."

"You lied to me?" he gasped.

"You lied to me! And yours was much worse!" she snapped immediately. "At least I still _have_ my virginity!"

He grumbled and drooped again, sulking in his armchair.

"Quinn," Rachel snapped.

"This is rapidly turning into a two-person game," Kurt observed.

"Yeah, can someone else please have a turn?" Santana growled. "Your lover's spat is boring."

"It's hot," Puck disagreed.

Rachel turned purple. "It's not a—"

"Pick. Someone. Else."

She glared. "Fine. Artie."

"I'll go with truth again," he said timidly.

"All right, um…how many…girls have _you_ kissed?" she asked, shrugging disinterestedly.

Tina perked up and Artie flushed red.

"Uh…just two. Okay, San—"

"Wait. Who else have you kissed?" Tina asked, pouting.

"Well…Brittany," he admitted sheepishly. "She caught me off-guard!"

"I had to maintain my perfect record," Brittany explained. "But it was before you guys dated. And he told me he liked you. So I gave him practice."

Tina was still drooping, but she seemed placated when Artie patted her.

"Brittany, does that mean you've kissed everyone in this room?" Mercedes asked curiously. "I mean, except me, because I know you haven't done that."

"Let's see…." Brittany ran her gaze over the group. "Everyone but you four." And she pointed to Quinn, Rachel, Tina, and Mercedes.

"That's a little disturbing," Artie pointed out.

"So? I've kissed all but six," Santana said, shrugging.

"I've got one of you girls to go," Puck added, winking at Tina, who Artie guarded.

"And how many of the guys?" Quinn asked.

He glared. "How about you, Quinn?"

"You know the two people in this room I've kissed. You being one of them."

"Hey, we've both kissed the same people," Rachel said suddenly.

"You just realized this?" Kurt asked, shaking his head.

She blushed. "Well, I never really thought about the fact that Noah actually kissed her in order to get her pregnant."

"I didn't. I—"

"That means you guys have practically made out," Brittany interrupted, eliciting a sigh of relief from everyone.

"Who has?" Santana asked gently.

"Quinn and Rachel."

The former smirked; the latter squirmed.

"So, Artie, you were going to ask me. Dare," Santana said nonchalantly.

"I dare you to…sing Marian the Librarian to…Tina. With a straight face," he said, grinning.

She rolled her eyes with a scoff. "Easy."

She kneeled in front of Tina, who immediately started giggling, and cleared her throat before belting out the first verse. Tina giggled through the whole thing and everyone else was snickering, but Santana never even cracked a smile. Though they did fear it was going to happen during the part about the moonlight helping along.

Santana plopped next to Brittany when she was finished. Brittany guarded her from Tina, who she momentarily glared at.

"See? Easy. Okay, B, your turn."

"Dare!"

"I dare you to show everyone that routine you memorized."

Everyone frowned in confusion, but Brittany frowned.

"But San…" she whined.

"No buts."

Brittany sighed and whispered in Rachel's ear. Rachel giggled and ran up the stairs, popping in a CD when she returned. Brittany took center stage and proceeded to duplicate the entirety of the girl's choreography from Push It. Everyone was in stitches by the end, and no one spoke for several moments because they were laughing too hard.

"Is it my turn to ask yet?" Brittany whispered to Santana, after about two minutes.

She nodded, smirking.

"Puck," she said delightedly.

"Dare," he replied.

"Go sing to one of Rachel's neighbors."

"Uh…okay. Can I do it after the game?"

"No. You have to go, with your guitar, and sing them that song you sang to Mercedes. And you can't tell them you did it on a dare."

Santana grinned proudly and Puck sighed, grabbed his guitar, and headed for the door.

"I'll go to make sure he actually does it," Matt said, hopping up.

They all ran to the front door, cramming in to peer out of it as Puck walked up to a door and knocked, wincing the entire time. Matt shoved him back onto the step when he tried to walk away, and they all giggled when Puck raised his guitar and started belting it.

They were cackling when the two boys ran for the front porch and dove inside, panting.

"They threatened with the police!" Puck gasped, and they all burst into fresh gales as they plopped into their seats. "It's not funny!"

"Your neighbors are _cranky_ , Berry," Matt commented.

"We almost got arrested!"

"You did not. They threaten to call the police all the time, but they never do," Rachel replied, shaking her head.

When everyone stared, she frowned.

"What?"

"You do that all the time, then?" Santana asked, arching a brow.

"Oh! No, I just happen to have a very wide vocal range and, at times—"

"Gotcha."

Puck sighed and flopped to the floor next to Finn, who was back to pouting in his armchair.

"Dude…so not cool."

"You have to pick someone," Brittany said insistently.

"Gah…fine, Rachel?"

"I think I'll go with a dare this time," she said, smiling.

"You are a brave one," Kurt said in a pseudo-Yoda voice.

She grinned.

"Umm…."

#

"I have _so_ got it!"

Everyone jumped and Santana groaned.

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do! This is perfect, all right?" Puck said, grinning.

"Are you going to tell me so I can ask for consequences?" Rachel asked.

"You won't need to." He snickered. "I dare you to kiss Quinn. With tongue."

Both girls shot up, one suddenly smiling. Finn stared at his best friend with wide eyes.

"Noah, why do you want to hurt me?" Rachel demanded, aghast.

He frowned. "Huh?"

"I refuse to participate in a dare that will result in personal injury, particularly to my nasal area," she retorted, folding her arms haughtily. "Give me your consequences."

"Go streaking in the park."

Her jaw dropped. "Noah!"

"Well? You either give me a lesbian kiss or get naked," he said, shrugging.

"Well…y-you're…." She flapped her mouth open and shut, trying to formulate words. "Your dare is against the rules!"

"It is not," he said, affronted.

"It is, too! Technically, by daring me to successfully make contact with her, you are daring Quinn to let me. Therefore, she has the right to veto the dare if she wishes," Rachel said proudly, and turned to Quinn expectantly.

Before Puck could ask, Quinn waved her hand dismissively.

"I pass up on my right this time."

Rachel gaped. "You do?"

She grinned. "Hell, I just want to see if you can stomach it."

Rachel scowled. "That's certainly incentive," she grumbled, then turned back to Puck. "Doesn't Finn have a right to veto? He is my boyfriend after all, and he should be able to protest to a dare that would basically constitute as cheating."

Finn rose up to do just that, but Puck shook his head.

"Nope. Meathead doesn't get a choice in the matter. It's up to you, Berry. Kiss Quinn, or run naked."

The rest of them watched on interestedly, and Santana grinned when Brittany bounced.

"Kiss, kiss!" she mock-whispered excitedly.

And everyone followed suit with a chant, except for Finn and Quinn, one of whom was fuming. Rachel squirmed uncomfortably, glancing uncertainly at Quinn before she finally bellowed, "All right!" and put a stop to the chanting.

She sighed and shifted toward Quinn, but paused. They all groaned.

"Does everyone have to be watching?" she mewled.

"Aw, you got performance anxiety?" Santana taunted.

"Oh, she just doesn't want anyone to see her doing something so vile," Kurt said with a shrug.

"Hey! I do not find the prospect of kissing an attractive girl such as Quinn disgusting!" Rachel snapped, and Quinn perked up a little. "I merely find it difficult to believe that I will not be receiving a black eye when I do so."

"God, you are _such_ an idiot," Santana moaned, and Brittany nodded sagely in agreement.

She narrowed her eyes at them. " _Besides_ , making out is not something I like to do with an audience, particularly not in front of my boyfriend, even if I am angry with him."

"You just think it's gross," Kurt said again, and Mercedes caught on.

"Not that we can blame you. It would kind of be like kissing JewFro," she teased, winking at Quinn.

Rachel bristled. "Do not compare Quinn to that insipid little cretin! It's not even possible! How can you possibly think his slimy, sticky, grabby hands measure up to hers? And her hair is _nothing_ if not gorgeous, particularly when it's down and in those adorable curls! And another thing!"

Quinn was grinning by now, and Finn was frowning in deep confusion.

"So you're saying she's not ugly?" Artie asked, amused.

Rachel gasped. "Of _course_ not! She's _beautiful_!"

"Prove it," Puck said, without missing a beat.

And Rachel fumed, seized Quinn by the back of the neck, and kissed her.


	5. Seven Minutes in Heaven

Quinn's eyes went wide with the surprise of it, but they fluttered closed in short order and soon she and Rachel were kissing expertly.

" _Finally_ ," Santana grumbled, and Finn shot a glare at her.

All attention went back to the kissing girls when a little moan was heard, and it was soon evident that tongues had become involved. Quinn's hands hovered by Rachel's neck, but when the latter dove in more aggressively, pressing her back against the couch, they started to travel down her shoulders and sides. Finn cleared his throat when they'd been making out long enough to fulfill the dare.

"Okay…" he said quietly.

"Shh," Puck hissed, waving a hand at him to shut him up.

A few eyebrows shot up when Rachel pulled back long enough to attack Quinn's mouth from the other side and Quinn's hands started stroking at her ribs, just beneath her breasts. Rachel's hands stayed up at Quinn's neck, fisting in her hair and keeping her in place, though it was quite obvious to everyone else that she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"It's like watching free porn," Santana commented.

"Except we know the actors," Artie replied, frowning. "Does anyone else find this a little disturbing?"

Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt nodded.

"Glad it's not just me."

Brittany tapped Quinn on the shoulder. "Q, Rachel's kissing you!" she said excitedly.

One hazel eye opened and Quinn detached a hand to give her a thumbs-up, and then went back to business.

"Is it good?" Brittany asked after a moment.

Santana patted her thigh. "I don't think she can answer you right now, B."

"Oh." She tapped Quinn again. "You can tell me after."

Quinn just gave her another thumbs-up. Rachel seemed completely unaware that anything was going on outside of Quinn's mouth.

"Okay, I think that's enough," Finn said uncomfortably. "You guys can stop now."

"Shut up, dude," Puck snapped. "You're ruining it."

"That's my girlfriend!"

"I don't think she is anymore," Mike said, shaking his head.

"Particularly considering how much saliva they've exchanged in the past few minutes," Kurt agreed.

Finn gaped at him.

"Quick, somebody go get the cooking oil!" Puck exclaimed. "We can pour it on them and—"

"Ugh, would you all _shut up_?" Rachel suddenly snarled, glaring them down. "I do not appreciate distractions when I am _trying_ to—"

"Trying to what, Rachel?" Finn asked sharply, tapping his fingers on the arm of his chair.

She froze, turning several different shades of red while she tried to answer. The rest of them quickly got bored with the stare-down.

"Rachel's a very good kisser," Brittany told Santana sagely. "Quinn can't stop smiling now."

Santana nodded. "I see that. Be careful your face doesn't get stuck that way, Q."

Quinn wiped her mouth, but that smile was not going anywhere. Rachel looked at her and stroked Quinn's hair back into place, blushing fiercely.

"Sorry for violating you," she muttered, and Santana groaned. "And thank you for not hitting me."

"Okay, Berry, that's it," she barked. "You are clearly an idiot when it comes to this, so let me break down for you what the rest of us have gotten since How Much Do You Know About." Rachel stared. "Quinn. _Wants_. To f—"

"Santana!" Tina yelped.

"—k you."

"San!" Quinn snapped. "What the hell?"

"What? You didn't have the balls to say it yourself," she retorted. "And I'm sick of you two making googly eyes at each other. It's disgusting."

Quinn glowered at her. Rachel was gaping at Santana, who arched a brow back. And Finn glared some more.

"I think you broke her," Brittany whispered. Santana shrugged.

"Who's up for Seven Minutes in Heaven?" Rachel asked abruptly, moving to sit next to Quinn. "We can use the coat closet."

"I am definitely up—" Puck paused, leering "—for that."

There was a collective eye-roll. Except for Quinn, who was trying to fight off a smirk. And Kurt, who was frantically smoothing his hair back down.

"Uh, Rach, you don't think we need to talk about what just happened here?" Finn asked, gesturing with an expression of disgust.

"About Quinn and I participating in a dare? Not particularly."

"But you just—"

"If you have something to say to me, then you can say it if we're paired up for Seven Minutes in Heaven. I know I plan to."

The rest of them grinned, and let out a joint, ' _oooh_.'

"Burn," Matt said, grinning.

"Well? The notebook and pen from the first game is still down here. Everyone write your name on a slip of paper, and we can stick them in the popcorn bowl," Rachel ordered.

Mercedes grabbed it first, tearing out a slip and folding her name up. They passed it around until all the slips were gathered, and then Rachel started stirring the names in the bowl. With her left hand, since she was currently wheedling her right into Quinn's.

"Hey, hold up. Does anyone have a stopwatch?" Matt asked.

"I have one built into my watch," Artie said.

"Cool!"

"Dude…your watch has one built in, too," Mike pointed out, showing him.

"Oh, dude! Sweet!"

"Who's going first?" Rachel asked.

"I thought it was tradition for the host or hostess to draw the first name," Kurt said.

"Well, it's my party, so I can ignore tradition if I want. Who's. Going. First?"

"How about we go alphabetically?" Mercedes suggested.

"By first or last name?" Tina asked.

They all glanced at Brittany, who smiled obliviously.

"First," Rachel said. "Here you go, Artie." She held out the bowl to him.

"What if you draw your own name?" Puck asked.

"That shouldn't be a problem for you," Santana replied.

He glared at her.

"You just put it back in and try again," Mercedes said, trying not to grin.

"Uh…I got Puck," Artie said, looking a little green.

There were snickers around the room.

"Dude, that's sick. I'm not doing that," Puck said stubbornly, shaking his head.

"Noah, you don't actually have to do anything sexual," Rachel soothed, shaking her head. "That's why it's _anything_ you want in a closet for seven minutes, just so long as there's physical contact."

"Do we have blindfolds?" Kurt asked.

"Yes. Finn, would you mind looking in my dresser, second row of drawers, first one? There are some scarves in there that should do."

He glared at her.

"What?" She huffed. "Fine, I'll ask Matt to do it."

"Why can't _you_ do it?" Finn grumbled.

"Because I am holding the name slash popcorn bowl," she snapped.

"And Quinn's hand," Brittany added, nodding.

"Right. And I can't just _abandon_ the bowl. You might cheat while I'm gone. Now, Matt, could you please get those scarves for me?"

Quinn smirked and Matt hurried up the stairs.

#

"In you go, sirs," Kurt said, giving Puck a last shove.

The girls cat-called and Puck scowled.

"Don't have too much fun in there."

They shut the door, and Santana and Brittany whispered, likely concocting a plan to get each other when their turns came around. Mike reluctantly participated in a makeover for Tina when Finn refused to do anything but glare at Quinn and Rachel, who were just innocently sitting there, waiting for the seven minutes to be up.

Although there may have been heated glances. And more hand-holding, too.

#

At five minutes, Kurt was getting impatient. Mercedes made him wait, and they all counted down the seconds. When they whipped open the door, Puck and Artie were having a thumb war, which sent everyone into gales of laughter.

"Okay, Brittany, you pick next," Rachel said when they'd all settled down.

"Dude, that was boring. When I pick, I am getting a chick," Puck said resolutely.

"Santana!" Brittany squealed.

"Hey! How did you manage _that_?" he demanded, outraged. "They cheated!"

"We didn't cheat. We're just lucky," Santana replied, grinning as Mercedes tied on her blindfold.

"I was holding the bowl the entire time, Noah. They couldn't have cheated," Rachel assured him.

"Right. Cause it's not like you weren't too busy making moon eyes at Blondie to notice anything else," he grumped.

She rolled her eyes. Santana and Brittany curled pinkies, and Kurt shut the door, and Matt and Artie proceeded to fight over whose watch they should use. Puck watched that, since he refused to lower himself to participating in a makeover.

#

Kurt got impatient after a total of six minutes this time, and knocked on the door when Mercedes failed to make him sit down again.

"Are you ladies ready yet?" he called.

"Just a—" there was a squeak.

"Go away, Hummel!" Santana snarled. "I'm working here! And I've still got forty-three seconds!"

He blinked and shook his head. "I don't want to know."

Quinn shifted a little closer to Rachel, and they once again counted down the seconds (on Artie's watch, since it turned out Matt's wasn't Swiss…). Brittany was flushed, but smiling, when they came out, and Santana grinned with self-satisfaction as they plopped on the couch.

"All right then. Finn? Your turn," Rachel said stiffly.

He huffed and heaved out of his chair to shuffle through the names, unfolded his paper, and promptly went pale.

"Uh…Kurt."

Kurt grinned. "Excellent!"

He high-fived Mercedes before Artie blindfolded him and Finn sputtered.

"We…we don't have to…. How about a new game?" he offered, swatting Puck away when he tried to blindfold him.

"Dude, don't be a pansy. _I_ sucked it up," he said, shaking his head.

"What if I draw again?" he asked, panicking.

"You have to go in with who you drew the first time. Those are the rules," Rachel said firmly.

He gulped as Puck steered him toward the closet, where Kurt was already waiting.

#

Mercedes opened the door when the seven minutes had passed, and they found Finn with his hand on a scowling Kurt's shoulder.

She chuckled. "Time's up, guys."

"Thank God! Finn, you are a horrible conversationalist," Kurt snapped, whipping off his blindfold as he came out.

"So, how's it feel to come out of the closet, dude?" Puck asked, clapping Finn on the shoulder.

"Anyone not expecting that joke, raise your hand," Santana said, rolling her eyes.

No one did. Finn scowled at Puck before plopping into his chair again.

"So. What did you guys do while we were in there?" Finn demanded, glowering at Quinn and Rachel.

"We played I Spy," Tina said cheerfully.

"Most boring game of all time," Matt said, sighing.

"We _could've_ played the strip version, but no," Puck growled. "You guys had to be boring. Again."

"I still don't understand how the strip version works," Artie commented.

"It's easy. You just—"

"Kurt, you get to draw next," Rachel reminded him.

He closed his eyes and reached in. "Please let it be a not boring person," he repeated over and over, then plucked the slip out. "Oh…Quinn."

She huffed. "Fine. I'll get up."

"Don't be boring."

"I'll try my best."

"Have fun," Rachel said cheerfully, guiding her to the closet.

Quinn grinned, and then Mercedes shut the door.

#

"What did you guys do?" Tina asked curiously.

"Kurt tried to attack me," Quinn said sourly, sitting next to Rachel again, who stroked her arm soothingly.

"He tried to _what_?" Puck demanded.

"I did not! She's just upset because I gave her a few styling tips she didn't appreciate!" Kurt said defensively. "Besides, _she's_ the one who attacked. She stepped on my toe." Mercedes patted him.

Rachel giggled and Quinn replied haughtily, "I warned you to shut up."

"I didn't know you were going to get _violent_ if I didn't!"

"See, that's your problem, Hummel. You never listen. I _clearly_ said, 'Dear God, man, if you don't shut up, I will castrate you.' And I was a lot nicer than that."

"Not by much," he whimpered.

"Well, I'll admit I was actually aiming for your shin, but I couldn't see, so I settled."

Santana nodded approvingly, and Finn glared when Rachel linked their arms and Quinn smiled at her.

"Okay, I believe Matt is up next."

He tried Kurt's technique and closed his eyes while repeating, "Please be a girl." It worked; he grinned with triumph when he read, "Tina!"

"Hey!" Artie exclaimed. "Okay, I think we need to establish a new rule."

"But we're already playing. Shouldn't our rules have been developed beforehand?" Rachel asked, frowning.

"That's easy for you to say. Quinn went in with a gay guy. You had nothing to worry about," he muttered.

"Hel- _lo_!" Finn yelled.

Artie blinked. "Hi?"

"Can we please acknowledge that I am the one dating Rachel here?" he snapped, folding his arms.

There was a pause.

"No," Puck said.

Finn gaped.

"It's more fun this way," Mercedes agreed.

"Your veins stick out," Kurt added.

"And you turn all red," Brittany said.

"And it's generally hilarious," Santana concluded.

"Your impotent rage _has_ always been pretty amusing," Tina said softly.

Finn gaped indignantly; Quinn smirked at him.

"Where are we on the new rule thing?" Artie asked.

"Okay, okay. New Seven Minutes in Heaven Rule," Rachel announced, sitting up. "If you draw someone who is already taken, all activities in the closet must be restricted to above the neck or hands-only, and any kissing must be limited to first base. Is that good enough, Artie?"

He grumbled his assent and Matt sighed.

"You ready, girl?" he asked Tina, who nodded shyly.

"Why couldn't we have instated that rule during Truth or Dare?" Finn mumbled.

"Dude, what are you complaining about?" Puck demanded. "You got to see a _lesbian kiss_ , man. And you'll probably get to see more, if things go right over there."

"Now, Noah, Finn does have a point. We should respect his status as my boyfriend," Rachel said, and Finn nodded.

"Thank you, Rachel."

Quinn frowned, but Rachel patted her shoulder comfortingly and she was (at least for the moment) placated. They all cat-called and wolf-whistled at Matt and Tina while they were shoved into the closet.

#

"You guys stole the thumb war idea!" Puck exclaimed.

Tina lifted her blindfold. "Well, we were going to go with I Spy, but it turns out that game is really hard to play when you can't see."

Everyone laughed, and Tina blushed.

"All right, Mercedes, you're up," Rachel said, stirring up the names a bit more.

She dug in and whipped out a slip, then smiled. "Mike."

"Sweet!" He grinned at her. "You know, if we make out, I'd only have three of the girls left."

She rolled her eyes. "You wish, big boy."

The rest of them laughed.

"Burn," Matt commented.

"Besides, I believe we've just instated a new rule about taken people, and my heart will always belong to Sean Patrick Thomas." She shared a grin with Kurt. "That boy can move."

Kurt nodded in agreement and Mike gasped, offended.

"Well, can he do this?" And he proceeded to pop-and-lock.

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "That's like elementary school dancing compared to what he does. Now let's do this."

#

"I'm getting a little bored," Kurt said at five and a half minutes.

"I'm tired," Brittany added, yawning.

"You should be," Santana purred.

When they all stared, she rolled her eyes.

"Because it's like twelve in the morning. God, pervs."

"Well, we can go to bed after this round, if everyone wants to," Rachel assured them.

"I'm not tired," Puck said, and Matt, Kurt, and Artie added their agreements.

"I'd suggest just the girls go to bed then, but…I really don't trust you boys not to do strange things to us in our sleep."

"Besides, we haven't all gotten to go," Matt pointed out.

"Everyone but me has gotten at least one turn, and I'm perfectly fine with ending the game here," Rachel retorted.

"Seven Minutes in Heaven has to be the last game of the party, though," Puck insisted.

She frowned. "Why?"

"Because it's the _best one_."

Rachel exchanged an exasperated glance with Quinn. Artie glanced at his watch.

"Time's up."

Kurt whipped open the door. "Oh, my God, you guys!"

Mercedes pulled off her blindfold. "What? I was throwing him a bone. He spent the entire seven minutes begging to do something other than thumb warring."

"Did not," Mike grumbled.

"Whatever."

"Mike, it's your turn," Rachel reminded him when he went to sit.

"Oh, sweet. Please be someone looser with their tongue!"

Mercedes rolled her eyes while he dug through.

"Uh, Rachel, do you, like, carry around gold star stickers with you or something?" Mike asked, pointing to the star on her slip.

Quinn bristled.

"Actually, yes!" Rachel swept out a packet of them. "They're very convenient."

They all exchanged amused glances and Rachel set the bowl in Quinn's lap. Mercedes tied the blindfold around her head.

"Can I please draw another name?" Mike asked anxiously.

Rachel squeaked indignantly.

"Not because it's you! I mean…you're pretty hot when you're not talking and stuff, but Finn and Quinn already got this whole war thing going on and I…I'm too young to die." He nodded for emphasis.

"That's why we made the new rule," she reminded him. "No one's going to be mad at you. Now, come on."

He sighed and let Matt blindfold him.

"They're glaring at me. I can _feel_ it."

"Dude, you're fine."

"Don't be a wuss," Puck said, pounding him on the back.

"I'm not mad, Mike," Finn assured him.

"You're not really the one I'm worried about."

Puck shut the door before Finn could respond.

#

"Time's up!"

Kurt bounced to open the door and Rachel was straightening Mike's shoulders.

"That'll give you better support when you're singing," she told him, and Mike sighed. "Honestly, you need to work on your posture. That's why you're always losing air so quickly."

Kurt grinned. "Time's up."

"Oh! Lovely," Rachel said, pulling off the blindfold and hopping back to her spot next to Quinn, who was smirking again.

"Seven minutes in heaven," Mike grumbled. "More like hell."

"I think seven minutes in a closet with Rachel counts as purgatory," Kurt replied.

"I'd be insulted, but I think that's actually the nicest thing you've ever said about me. Noah, you draw next."

"All right!" He rubbed his hands together and took a moment to pray it would be a hot girl, and then he dug through the papers. "Mercedes!"

She groaned. "You're gonna try to make out with me, aren't you?"

He waggled his eyebrows.

"Just don't grope me, please. That's all I ask."

"I make no promises."

#

"Puck, learn to use less tongue! I'm begging you!" Mercedes shook her head, plopping next to Kurt and stretching her jaw.

"I don't use too much tongue," he said, frowning. "Do I, Brittany?"

She avoided his eyes. He scowled.

"Quinn? Rach?"

"Well, I—we haven't made out in such a long time, Noah, I—"

"Quinn, come on."

"I was drunk."

He huffed. "Santana?"

"You use tongue like Coach Sylvester uses the phrase 'that's hard.'"

"Damn."

"Quinn, your turn." Rachel smiled.

She huffed and pulled the slip off the top. "Matt."

"Yes!" She glared at him and he swallowed. "Or…crap."

She rolled her eyes and let Rachel blindfold her again.

"I'm going to be playing a thumb war again, aren't I?" he asked Mike.

He patted him on the shoulder.

#

"I wasn't trying to touch your boob! I swear to God!"

"Right. Because that's why you just happened to touch one. On your way to _not_ doing that. Tina, you're in my seat."

She moved.

"I was just trying to find you. It's dark in there. And my toe hurts now."

"We were already holding hands, you idiot. And you're lucky something else doesn't hurt."

Rachel rubbed her arm soothingly.

"I guess no one should play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Quinn," Kurt said, shaking his head. "She's dangerous in there."

"Only when you annoy me."

"Okay, my turn!" Rachel said delightedly, and she concentrated hard as she dug through the papers. She grinned triumphantly. "Finn."

He brightened and let Puck blindfold him. Quinn scowled and did her duty, guiding Rachel into the closet. Kurt shut the door and frowned at the others.

"Did Rachel seem far too delighted about that to anyone else?" he asked.

"Considering she's spent the last hour or so clinging to Quinn's arm, yes," Artie agreed.

Kurt glanced at them. "I'm going in."

And he pressed his ear to the door.

"God, if you're going to do this, do it right," Quinn said irritably.

She snatched an empty glass from the table and pressed her ear to it. The others followed suit and started giggling as they listened.

#

"First of all, I'd appreciate it very much if you wiped that sour look off your face. You are completely dragging the party down, and—"

"Rachel—"

"—this is _supposed_ to be our celebration of glee's second chance. So please stop ruining everyone else's good time."

"Rach, aren't we—"

"I'm not finished yet. Second, I'm very disappointed in your performance in a game that was all about me, whom you supposedly love."

"Those were really hard questions!"

"Quinn didn't think so."

"Oh, so that's what this is about, huh?"

"A little bit. But I'm still not finished. Thirdly—"

"Rachel, this is a really weird conversation to have with blindfolds on. Can I—"

"No! You will adhere to the rules. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, I am also extremely upset with you for lying to me about your date with Santana. I could have understood it if you waited to tell me until we started dating, since at the time we weren't dating and you didn't owe me anything, but as your current girlfriend, I believe it was pertinent information."

"You lied, too!"

"Again, I lied about _being_ a virgin. Besides, I didn't outright lie. I was very careful about my wording, if you remember, and it really wasn't a big deal to tell Jesse why I couldn't go through with it."

Finn scoffed.

"I heard that. My fourth point is that, after tonight's events, I've realized how ill-suited we are for one another."

"What you mean is, you made out with Quinn and it was so good you want to break up."

"No. Not to say that it wasn't good—Quinn is an excellent kisser, by the way, and I'm suddenly finding it difficult to understand why you broke up with her in the first place, but I digress. You've proved yourself far lower than adequate in several areas tonight, and most of them had nothing to do with Quinn."

"Really? Enlighten me."

"Well, first, you clearly don't listen to me. Frankly, I'll be surprised if you manage to remember that I broke up with you tomorrow."

"You're—"

"Second, you fail to incite arousal in me, which I believe is part of a good, healthy relationship. Third, you hardly notice when I'm insulted by members of our glee club, and when you do, you don't defend me until I point it out. In short, I feel that you don't respect and care about me as a boyfriend should, and I believe it is in our best interests to terminate this relationship."

"You don't think _this_ is going to drag down the party?"

"On the contrary, everyone seems to be in support of this decision."

"You…you _talked_ to them about this?"

"No, I simply gathered a consensus by listening to the comments made by all of our teammates. Although I _did_ ask Mike while we were in the closet, and he confirmed my beliefs."

"Great. So I suppose you're gonna go fly into Quinn's arms as soon as we're done."

"If I were, I'd hardly tell you, would I?"

"Tell him, dammit, tell him."

Rachel gasped. "Noah, get away from the door this instant! This is a private conversation!"

"OW!"

"Look what you did! You got us in trouble!"

"Santana!" Rachel scolded.

"Dammit!"

"OW! That was _your_ fault!"

"Now we won't be able to hear the rest of the conversation. Great job, guys."

Finn growled. "Kurt?"

"Just how many of you are listening?" Rachel demanded, and yanked open the door.

All ten of them scrambled for seats, shoving each other over in order to get there in time. Rachel scowled at them, blindfold hanging down around her neck.

"Well, aren't you all lovely friends?"

"Great. Now all our friends heard you _dump_ me," Finn groaned. "I'll never be able to show my face at school again."

She rolled her eyes. "Stop being such a drama queen."

He gaped at her.

"Still, I am very disappointed in all of you. That was extremely poor etiquette," she said, folding her arms.

There was a chorus of 'sorry' and pointing fingers until Rachel raised her hands to halt all conversation.

"I don't care who started it. You should all be ashamed of yourselves, and I expect all of you to apologize personally to Finn."

"Than—hey! Why not to you, too? You were in there, too!" he growled.

"I didn't have anything embarrassing happen to me."

He glared, and they all apologized one by one.

"Very good. Now, I believe it's Santana's turn to—"

"Wait. We're sorry, but we really have to know," Mercedes said sheepishly, glancing at the others for support.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Are-you-and-Quinn-gonna-date-now?" Matt blurted, after Puck elbowed him.

She glanced at a pouting Finn, and then at a frowning Quinn.

"You're all very bold tonight. Did you crack into my father's alcohol, by chance?" she asked sternly, smirking as she sat next to Quinn.

"Come on, Rach! Tell us!" Mike whined.

"Please?" Brittany pouted and Rachel laughed.

"I think that's between me and Quinn, don't you?" And she turned to Quinn, who nodded.

"Keep your noses out of my business."

They all groaned. Santana sighed and pulled Brittany's slip out of the bowl, waved it at them, and dragged her into the closet without bothering with the blindfolds. Artie went to time them, but Rachel waved her hand dismissively.

"Don't bother. I think we're done with this game, and they'll come out when Santana is ready to."

"Good point."

"Who else is tired?"

The boys protested, and the girls rolled their eyes.

"Well, _I'm_ going to sleep," Mercedes said. "Right, T?"

She yawned. "Definitely."

"Lightweights," Puck scoffed.

"I'm going to bed, too," Rachel replied, stretching. "Finn, I know you're angry with me right now." He glared. "But in the morning, I'm making chocolate chip waffles." He hesitated and she grinned. "Good night."

Quinn wobbled to her feet when Rachel pulled her along behind her, and everyone called good night to them, and Finn sighed, torn. They were on the third step when he called, "Night!"

Rachel grinned.

"Dude, you're just pathetic," Puck commented, shaking his head.

"Shut up."

#

"Nice bed."

"Thanks." Rachel plopped on the edge, smiling. "So…is Santana just full of it or…?"

Quinn smirked. "Not completely. I probably would've phrased it a little differently…."

"That's a relief. What would you have said?"

She sat next to her. "I want to date you."

A grin spread across her face. "I'd like that."

Quinn smirked back. "I knew you'd come to see things my way." She frowned. "Although I wasn't really expecting it to be because Santana told you I want to bone you."

"Well, it wasn't, really."

"What was, then?"

Rachel considered that. "I'd have to say…it was when you knew my favorite color was red." She grinned impishly. "Really sealed the deal."

Quinn shook her head, smiling. "Liar."

"You're right. It was actually this."

And she leaned in to kiss her again, more gently this time, though Quinn soon had her tongue running over her bottom lip and her thumb running lazy circles over Rachel's favorite spot and then they were kissing far more aggressively as Quinn explored her mouth. Rachel let her hands wander over her back and sides this time, and just as Quinn started to push her back down to the bed, she tore away, panting.

"Quinn?"

She grunted.

"Do you want to play strip poker?"

Her only answer was a devilish grin.


End file.
